It’s vital for young people to see themselves in books and collections. Some books give children language to express what is in their hearts. For those who may not have strong family support, a library can offer a safe, private place to access thoughtfully curated, age-congruent information.
That’s why, as a school librarian and a teacher, we felt strongly about helping our school, Friends Select School in Philadelphia, create a Lower School Gender and Sexuality Education committee in 2017. Prior to this, our school didn’t have standardized lessons for gender and sexuality; teachers addressed these topics according to knowledge and comfort, and many students entered middle school without a lesson.
The committee comprised a cross-section of lower-school (pre-K to 4th-grade) teachers who created the curriculum, while the library’s primary role was to ensure its collection included copies of all titles used in that curriculum. We began by creating a handful of lessons discussing gender identity for each lower-school grade. Lessons stuck to the basics: pronouns and gendered stereotypes around clothing, hairstyles, and toys. Our pilot year was moderately, though not consistently, successful.
The shutdown of in-person schooling during the pandemic gave us the opportunity to start over and devise a full curriculum on gender and sexuality. One of our biggest hurdles: No ready-made curriculum covered the content ours does, in the depth that it does, for the age range of our lower school. We leaned on resources from organizations including Advocates for Youth, Common Sense Media, Gender Inclusive Classrooms, Human Rights Campaign, and Learning for Justice, but many lessons had to be written by our committee.
Our curriculum covers body understanding, image, and development; gender identity, expression, and stereotypes; healthy relationships and consent; digital literacy; and puberty and adolescent sexual development. All grades receive lessons in each area—with the exception of puberty, for which the lessons occur only in 4th grade. Lessons require little preparation and easily fit into 30 minutes. The material taught in our lower grades lays the foundation for more nuanced conversations in later grades.
The fear of book bans can create a level of self-censorship. To quote Timothy Snyder, ‘Do not obey in advance.’
In pre-K, one of the first lessons uses the book Yes! No!: A First Conversation about Consent by Megan Madison and Jessica Ralli to teach students that consent means “I have to ask first.” After completing a read-aloud, students practice greeting their friends, with each child choosing how they want to be greeted: high-five, hug, or wave. By 3rd grade, conversations include the intersection of race and body autonomy with the help of the book Don’t Touch My Hair! by Sharee Miller.
Our lower-school library offers book displays that celebrate and represent many different aspects of our curriculum’s lessons. Author and illustrator visits also play a vital role. For example, this spring, the library hosted illustrator Kah Yangni, who facilitated a mural with the students that read, “Trans People Exist in the Future.”
There has been some community pushback. Some parents chose to keep their kids home the day a trans author came to speak or the day we were slated to read This Day in June by Gayle E. Pitman (about Pride celebrations). Some showed up in the school library unannounced, wanting to go through our collection and decide which books should be removed. For these issues, it has helped to have strong policies in place. For example, if parents need to speak to a school employee, they must make an appointment.
However, the feedback we’ve received has been overwhelmingly positive. In less welcoming environments, the fear of book bans can create a level of self-censorship. To quote author and historian Timothy Snyder, “Do not obey in advance.” This work is essential. For every voice loudly complaining, we heard five or six thanking us for developing this curriculum, saying that this prompted them to have “the talk” with their child, or telling us their family felt seen.
